The easy way to let go of your sorrows - and weaknesses

Today a lady told me about a painful event in her past. The "love of her life" left her... eight years ago. She was a wreck.

I asked her why she hasn't move on, and she said that she thought she had. She felt pretty darn capable of handling just about anything, in fact.

She told me eight years ago, he went through a terrible ordeal that caused him to lose faith in himself and to feel guilty about many things he did as well as things he didn't do, but "should have" done. He had been very successful and well known where he lived before this event. But he felt incredible guilt.

Guilt has a way of doing that to people, making us question our worthiness to be, do and have just about anything. So he just kind of disappeared and quit his successful career. Just dropped out.

Well, she ran into him again recently. He had gotten himself a bit more together. And seeing him again, more like he was when they were a couple, brought up all the old painful emotions she felt eight years ago.

She told me it feels like it all just happened yesterday.

Same raw emotions. Same feelings of loss. Same loneliness and emptiness. Like he left her all over again today.

Isn't that something?

Same pain but eight years later.

Triggered only by seeing him again.

You see, all our life experiences are stored in our brains. Memories is what they're called. And memories, especially memories of big things like the "love of your life" and losing that love have lots of triggers. Their face, smells, scenes, conversations, passion, dreams, laughs, tears, hurtful words, physical connections, "your song," thousands of sensations and emotions that make up the memories.

Our computers, meaning our brains, store those memories and just like a computer, can bring those files, meaning memories back up on the screen, meaning in our consciousness. The memories [files] are all there.

Now, our applications (habits) are how we handle those memories [files].

If you bought a brand new computer and took your old one and put it on a shelf for eight years, everything is stays intact. So if you fired it up eight years later, everything would still be exactly where it was eight years before.

Same folders, same colors, same fonts, same everything.

Our brains are the similar. Our memories have a physical address. The memory of your first kiss is still in the same place it was the day it was first imprinted on your brain.

Unlike computers, we can't delete bad memories. We can only change how we perceive them and what they mean to us.

So since we can't actually delete bad memories (files), or erase bad habits (programs) from your brain, the best and most effective way to get yourself over them is to override them with new "files" and "programs."

To change what the bad memories mean.

We do this by what we call "Releasing" statements.

Since the old events will always be there, the best you can do is to make them mean something else. Or shrink them. Change their color. Make them look and feel less "real."

That is what "releasing" and "clearing" statements do.

And remember repetition...

I don't care how good advice may be, it won't change your instantaneous responses without conditioning. Like learning to play an instrument, repetition is key.

Releasing statements actually have the "problem" built in.

"I have let go of all (state the thing you've let go of)."

"I have risen above (state some tragedy/bad habit)."

I have replaced (state problem behavior/emotion) with (empowering/success producing behavior/emotion)."

Whenever (negative thing) happens, I (think/act in some positive way)."

Oooh, can this get your mind going.

This is why, sometimes, in the beginning, it may not be very comfortable when you first start using release statements repeatedly.

If the change feels like it is being forced so quickly, it's not comfortable. Sometimes extremely uncomfortable. This means you've got a WAYS to go... and need more "programming."

Because bad habits and fears usually have a positive intent.

Fear, for example, grabs you typically when there is a real or perceived risk of loss or danger.

And the brain doesn't want to get rid of the fear, even if it's irrational fear, because it thinks that it is protecting you from real danger. See?

So when some release statement is attempting to get you to let go of the unnecessary fear, there can be rebellion by your mind. Getting rid of a particular fear that you have, your mind may reason, will make you do stupid, careless, reckless things.

And we can't have that now...

This is what makes changing how we think and act so hard.

This is the dynamic that makes most all self-help/how-to info totally useless... not because it isn't good advice, but because there is no way in the world you will ever follow through on most or any of it.

You just gotta alter the files and programs in your computer, I mean your brain, so they don't read the same way any more.

If you don't?

Your computer, I mean your brain, won't run right.

Lei capisce adesso? ("Do you understand now?")